I was watching a few minutes of Oprah yesterday. She was interviewing Chris Rock and Solange. Good Hair I think it the title of the movie he is releasing. The discussion was based on what black women do for the purpose of beauty.

The thing that rang out to me was… $50,000+ a year

$50,000!!!! A YEAR holy cow! That is the cost of some peoples entire income per year!

I knew there was some money being spent in Hollywood on hair but I had no idea even though I am in the industry. Plus the time included in that chair and the planning of their lives around their hair and what they can and can’t do because it would change their hair. Why is it that hair is valued the way it is?

Once when I apprenticed in a salon it was my job to sweep, wash hair, answer phones and be helpful. As I was sweeping I found it super strange looking at the hair on the floor. My boss thought I was weird when I commented. “Funny that each morning all this hair was fussed over, angered at, cursed and loved. Now that it is on the floor no one cares. Think of all that energy that was wasted now that it is on the floor.” Why do we feel this way about our selves.

When I was in high school I used to get up at 5:30 am in the morning. Wash, blow dry, curling iron and shalak the crap out of it. If it didn’t turn out by 7:00 am. I would start the whole process over. If it didn’t turn out by 8:00 then I would brush and curling iron it. 8:30 am, if it didn’t go well I didn’t go to school. When I think back on all the hours of sleep I missed out on, the time in school I would have been learning something and the people I could of been spending time with. What the hell was I thinking? Luckily I went into a salon for a grad (I used to cut my own hair because we couldn’t afford a stylist) and as the stylist who consulted with me said “What they hell??? You do this everyday???!!! If your hair is straight wear it straight and find a cut that works for your hair!” Because of her (and I wish I knew her name) she changed the way I do hair. Only one hair cut and one person can change the way you see yourself. I wish I knew her name so that I could thank her.

It all comes down to acceptance. Acceptance of yourself. Manufacturing acceptance with the condition that if the product doesn’t look exactly like a magazine then I am a failure is a rather hard brush to swallow.

As a hairdresser (I don’t know if there are many out there that take their career to heart) I try my best and at times I can create the look of a magazine for a $100. But when I don’t I sometimes feel like a failure when  I can’t create the look the customer wants. Not realizing that there was $4000+  a month spent on that hair.  Not $100. How do you encourage someone to accept themselves no matter what their hair looks like. Yes it is great to improve what you got (isn’t that why you go to school? work out?) but you still must accept what you have been given.

So there it is. Even when you are popular, even when you are famous, even when you are rich, even when you are living the lifestyle that you craved.. insecurities lie to your face in the mirror.

So the moments when your hair doesn’t turn out, or it isn’t as thick as you want it to be, or is too darn frizzy or whatever the excuse is.. to be able to look in the mirror and (be unconcerned what other people think) FIND something that you like about you.

Tell me what you say to yourself to encourage self acceptance.