50 Shades of Grey Bullshit

by Rebecca

This really pisses me off..
all the people who are ENCOURAGING those of us who should go and watch the movie or read the book because you can’t judge a book by its cover.. and you can’t understand it until you watch it…



Well my first time was I didn’t know I was allowed to say NO.

I had someone who convinced me something that would be good for me turned up bad for me when I was 8 years old.


This book is written by a manipulator. YOU of those who say that I should read it.. YOU are telling me it is ok for me and you are acting JUST the same as a person who wants to rape an 8 YEAR old boy or girl.

You are trying to convince me that I can either be part in bondage of either victim or manipulator.

This world is blind.. we are being told what is bad is good, manipulated and I am NOT going to participate in this manipulation. I AM going to talk about it…

FUCK YOU to those who want to manipulate me into thinking my rights are to be manipulated. For your benefit, for you to tell me what is pleasurable, that my morals should be erroded.. AND YES I DO NOT BELIEVE in religion.

FUCK YOU to my the people who are supposed to be on my side and protect me.. FUCK YOU cause I say NO!

NO! You will not be able to tell me that” YOU LOVE IT BECAUSE”  …..Then that would stand to reason:

-You are “OK” with your boss telling you to work late. It is “OK” to go home and neglect your kids because you are sooo tired. It is “OK”  because he wants you to come into work and do something as stupid as washing the windows when you have a sore shoulder..hmmm YUP.. oh enjoyable.. feeeeels ever so good to let down the 2 people who depend you.. and you actually LOVE them.. and you are thinking you are doing your best for them by making more money..

-cause ain’t it all about money? hello?

-you should come into work longer and do more things that hurt your body (it is an exchange of money) because he gave you a raise for the work you did on the weekend…oh yeah feels good.. you got rewarded for something painful, you are still feeling the ache of it the next day but it is in your heart..

-one night to not leave work & leave your kids at home by themselves to run outside, and play hide and seek in the dark  at 4 and 8 years old..for 2 days straight…

-you should stay over and punch doors and say “tasty” things to her daughters (who are 4 and 8)

-you make it so one of the daughters run away and leave and never come back

-to convince her to take drugs that killed you in her bed and she lost her mind?

-you make it ok for years later that that daughter who was 8.. to tell the 4 year old. that this was ok because it feels good now..

- I say to all this… FUCK YOU… I will let go of the pain because it isn’t worth it. FUCK YOU! NO I will not be a victim OR a manipulator. I will say FUCK YOU I ain’t going to be manipulated and GIVE MONEY to a big machine who is manipulating me trying to induce more moral eroding.

We already HAVE so much pain in the world DO I NEED TO INFLICT “this kind of pleasure”?

All to be released on a day that is supposed to be about love.

Am I supposed to LOVE the boss who raped and manipulated my mom of time from caring about her kids?

Am I supposed to LOVE the man who pushed my sister away for his violent behavior?

Am I supposed to LOVE the stranger who raped me at 8 behind a dumpster and held a knife to my throat?

Am I supposed to LOVE the neighbor who.. made me pose like those girls in the magazines and I was only 4?.

Am I supposed to LOVE the man who looks are porn on the computer and think for me to only be loved or the only way I am needed is this way? I SAY FUCK YOU NO!

you are ok with being hurt.. and you like it.
I do not want to participate in this ugly circle.

Instead on valentines day from this day forward..
I want to inflict “THE pleasure”… The pleasure in knowing.

I will try everyday to help someone by either


-gently touching them

-looking for ways to make better decisions that just don’t effect me… but the entire line…(like flowers picked by women who are poor and forced to leave their children ) BUT INSTEAD what I will ask from my husband or boyfriend is instead to donate that money to KIVA

-looking down the hole and finding the pain and saying it out loud that it will not be allowed it to continue to  hurt me… and the only way to work through IS CHOOSING to NOT hurt others..?


-This was all noise to confuse the word.. and it still remains as NO!.

I am only going to say thank you once to:

The book that I write about my own life an NOT be the kind of person that gets written about..


HITLER!  we ALL know that what he did was bad. .. BUT.. the people who went and did his bidding… they were also bad.. did they not have the ability to stand up and say NO as a collective? WHY NOT? because they were scared to…because they WERE consenting adults and they WERE victims…. the only money they had was greed and their life they were paying with.. abuse… is abuse.. and happy endings don’t continue pain.

-I DON”T NEED To read shit like this book, I don’t NEED to watch it.

Instead I choose to search for the depth of my actions and educate myself  in ways to help. and not hurt..

I will NEVER excuse abuse. In animals, people and of the earth. I admit I am naive about what I buy and what it does to the other side of the world.. but I am ALWAYS looking: To buy locally, support people closest to me. Stand up for the rights of me and those who can’t stand up for them selves. I admit it is hard to make choices that costs more money.. but that means I have the pain of realizing that my money will go to something GOOD until it becomes something that is NOT good.. then I will search again to support something good..


sooo how about you?

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