Time to get a “move” on.

by Rebecca

I got so mad!

I went mad!

How the hell did I get from here?

I was having coffee, chatting, enjoying my day, having fun, planning my business and loving the sunshine..

To

I am sad my mom dies, confused and overwhelmed about my business and ANGRY. SO ANGRY I am shaking!

I took my anger out on someone I love. I yelled. I YELLED at someone that tells me they love me everyday (but… I must say it first).

Angry that my mom dies, someone (bank employee)… phone bullying me into doing their bidding like I am their bitch.. That if I don’t do something THEIR way.. it inconveniences them. Their solutions cause me more problems, a tax on my time. I have to jump through THEIR hoops their way.. or ELSE.  but meanwhile I am trying to be gentle with someone who tells me of the violence they experienced and their own death escape, another whose loss I can’t imagine of their home, family and financial,  job loss and personal well being. A friend who is supporting and being supportive during a community tragedy and a personal effection. This ripple from whoever, to them, to me and now ended with the person that I love. I didn’t let it stop with me… Shame on me. This is mine to not control. but flow.

I had to STOP my anger while I was on the phone with “the bank” to not pass it back. WHOOOOOAAAAA…. Volcanic internal eruptions so LOUD AND HOT that I would have BURST. … and boy did I.. the anger was sooooo RED.. it reverberated to the cosmos AND beyond!. After the phone call..

BIG MASSIVE circle of anger. (Not recommended to with heart conditions of love or children)… Acting like an angry adult.. because even a child wouldn’t have this magnitude.. I mean star quality. Massive explosion..like a death star (a space from inside so capable of destroying a person with one shot of its superlaser of sharp words and expansive effect.)

Sometimes it is too much. This life thing

The ripple effect is being passed down and through you, from everyone else that is also experiencing the same thing.. all of those ripples double and effect each other.

“It is your choice”.. haa haa.. I got cut off. Disconnection. If you are going to acknowledge the ripples and let them go through you  then you must acknowledge them and let them flow.. that it is just swimming…. or you can either fight them.. and feel them all.

Karen Walters says. “Give it up. let it stop. apologize and move on.”  She lets them flow and not affect her. Everyone is feeling the same shift. The shift of that: what we don’t know, the tilt of the angle. Trying to find our footing. Being happy for the moment. Being excited about life.. but from everything we have been told is truth so far. It is different. We don’t know, the world HAS changed and is changing. Everything that we know is in flux and … the pace of the pain from the growth. our wee little spirits can’t keep up… unless.. you stop.

In the dip.. of being the choice of direction. That whole fork in the road thing. That moment when you decide to change directions.. and everything that you know.. to change and be different. It is being stuck at that cross roads. what direction do I take…

Shit I look at my watch. I have been here for HOW LONG? like 5 years? and I hadn’t picked yet.

And to make the leap onto the path.. which one. Once choice left.. Be nice and leave the fork and move on. Just because the sign said “stop”

OK Go! – This Too Shall Pass

Wow. Time to get a Move on.

I am sorry. Colin.

 

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